THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
