Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
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