You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
