guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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