Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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