Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
