i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
