We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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