You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Randomize
