We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
