look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
