not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
