Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
We need to feng shui this bitch.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
