What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
