Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
