He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Randomize
