only if we run a train.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.