You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
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We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
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I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..