Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
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