Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
