Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
