Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
