I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize