Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Randomize
