I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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