Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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