No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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