i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
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