Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
