It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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