I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Randomize
