OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
