12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Randomize
