Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
do herpes really smell.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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