Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize