who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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