How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
