so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are we still banned from the library?
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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