I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize