I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So gin and wine won't be happening again
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
pray to the hookup gods
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize