I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
