I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Alive.
So much puke
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Randomize
