"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
