what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
