Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.