I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize