Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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