omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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