She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Is her dick bigger than yours?
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
We're too hungover to prance.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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