I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could fuck to npr.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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