Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
just come out here and I will go home with you...
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
