he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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