grandma shit on top of the toilet
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
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