that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
