Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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