Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
its liver damage thursday
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
