He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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