I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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