Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
