Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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